This Movie Sucked the Life Out of Me: Morbius Movie Review

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WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

 

With Morbius, Jared Leto has solidified that he can’t play super villains even if he had a gun to his head. Let’s start with this, there was only one other person in the theater when I saw it, and it was probably only because he was a brainwashed member of Jared Leto’s cult (no like this is a real thing like I know it sounds like a joke but Jared Leto has a whole cult dedicated to him look it up). 

The movie itself, well the plot is simple, it’s literally just his origin story: A doctor with a rare blood disease spends his life trying to find a cure for it to save him and his lifelong friend. Finally, he discovers he can heal himself by replacing some of his DNA with bat DNA. It’s successful, but transforms him into a bloodthirsty vampire. Chaos ensues when he’s torn between keeping his humanity or helping his friend who’s gone berserk after taking the “cure”. It’s almost as if the entire movie was just trying to shove Morbius into the MCU cannon as fast as possible, with the least amount of effort possible. 

I would have to give the visuals a shaky 5/10. They weren’t CW’s Supergirl level of terrible CGI, it wasn’t terrible, however it was apparent in the fight scenes that the movie must have had a low budget when it came to visual effects. 

The visuals were pretty decent looking, but the fight scenes were very fast and blurry, almost as if they were taking shortcuts and trying to make it seem like fighting without actually editing it with effort. It was as if they couldn’t afford to create high detail choreographed scenes so it came off as covering it up with flashy effects. The vampire forms of characters like Morbius and Milo were very lackluster. The CGI wasn’t terrible, it just looked like some old-timey Dracula movie sculpted-on face makeup which made serious scenes almost funny. 

As for the soundtrack, 6/10. Notably, it’s been 3 days since seeing the movie and I don’t remember a single song from the soundtrack, but going back to the soundtrack online it wasn’t terrible. Not involved, didn’t try, but not bad music. Far from on par for Marvel/Sony, but so is the entire film. 

The acting in this film is like handing a group of 6th grade theater kids a script 30 minutes before the show starts, 2/10. Everything is stale. Matt Smith, who plays Milo, the main antagonist of the movie, is the only one in character the entire time and even his work was shoddy. Jared Leto looks about as bored in character as I did seeing the movie, he is emotionless as Morbius

Marvel’s signature witty dialogue shows itself in lines like “It’s deadly to bats, and lethal to humans.” when talking about an antidote he created to stop Milo. The writers really had a way with words with that line. 

Another thing to note, every tragic event in the movie is approached with zero feelings. A kid almost died in the beginning and I laughed because of how crappy the acting was. Leto brought back his method acting from “Suicide Squad” by refusing to go anywhere without being in a wheelchair even after the crew told him it was a dumb idea, at least this time he didn’t mail people dead rats like his last super villain movie. 

Bad acting, stale, no effort. Would’ve been better as a comedy movie. True to the character through story but not through personality. Leto’s Morbius did have the passion and drive as he did in the comics, but still zero expression or emotional reaction to anything, like Mark Zuckerberg. 

All in all, I give Sony’s Morbius a 2/10. Terrible acting, terrible writing, and terrible visuals. The only redeeming quality was that the movie was over before I realized it.