"I have the bladder of a pregnant squirrel." “Good talk. This has been sufficiently awkward.” “My friend thinks the world is flat... like pshh” “Were you not born a bald baby?" "I...

"Wow! That's great! I'm gonna lick some peanut butter now." "Your beard is flammable." "My persona is a teletubby!" "Then he sniffed my elbow and stared gnawing on the binder." "You'll be the...